Monday, October 25, 2010

The Fly on the Wall - Part I

By Benny Trrouble Goodman

I’m telling you, how friggin’ awesome would it be if you could just walk up to the hottest girl at the club, the sexiest girl on the street, the sweetest chick on the block and ask her the stuff you really wanna know?  That’s exactly what I did.  Don’t worry kids, all of my hard work has paid off at your benefit.  I went around asking all the most beautiful girls six questions that pertain exactly to what we want to know:
   What biggest mistakes do guys make in winning your affection?
   What do you hate most about guys?
  What is the best way for a guy to randomly approach you?
     How can a guy win you over?
      What do you think the biggest misconceptions guys have about you as a girl?
      What do girls really look for?

I mean, how awesome would it be to know that kinda stuff?  The more you can understand how a girl thinks the better you can be at getting their attention and rockin’ their world!  So read closely and pay attention!
First and foremost, I want to thank all of the amazing, beautiful, and intelligent girls that took the time to get back to me.  You would be surprised how much girls actually want you to know how to win them over, the problem it seems is that guys don’t want to pay attention.  Some of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen took the time to explain to me how their minds work and what it takes to be their kinda guy.  I actually got so much information that I’m going to have to break this post up into multiple posts, a few beautiful girls at a time.  I mean, can you take much more?

Q1: What biggest mistakes do guys make in winning your affection?

A1: I don’t like to feel smothered. Personally trying too hard for my attention is a complete turn off (i.e. cheesy pick-up lines, or ridiculous compliments). Sure it’s nice hearing “you’re hot” or “beautiful” etc, but that comes off too easy. Doesn’t take much effort to tell someone how they look, and the typical pick-up lines are just a waste of time. Those will flip the “not interested” switch almost immediately in my head. Bright personality and a little bit of a challenge would catch my interest quicker than anything else. Sure every female would probably tell you they want the world handed to them on a silver platter by a guy. Personally, as much as I may make you work for my attention as well as my affection, I want to be challenged and work for your attention as well. Leave me with something to strike my curiosity that will make me want to find out what else is to you.

Q2: What do you hate most about guys?

A2: When I do turn down a guy, and he becomes bitter and rude. I’ve had my fair share of guys who turn around and call me “ugly” or a “bitch” because I genuinely wasn’t interested. Doesn’t mean another girl won’t like you, but I don’t understand what gives a guy the right to tear apart my self esteem just because I wasn’t interested or I had another guy in my life. I don’t feel I need to justify my reasoning on why I may or may not be interested, but guys shouldn’t be so hot-headed, desperate, and arrogant. Acting this way will probably shoot down any possibility for that guy to approach any other female who was in that specific vicinity. Extremely unappealing.

Q3: What is the best way for a guy to randomly approach you?

A3: The best way a guy can approach me is by being himself, and striking up a conversation. I’m a pretty random girl, so you could for the most part start talking about anything and I’d go with it. I’m shy though, and my shyness sometimes comes off as being a (for lack of better words) a bitch, but I’m the complete opposite, and if you guys had a little more patience and took the extra few more minutes to talk with me, you’d probably see a genuine good girl. If a guy has already made an effort in approaching a girl, put the effort in finishing what you’ve started pretty much. Also, personally for me, it’s unappealing to see a guy with the whole “on to the next one” mentality. I.E. say you’re talking to a girl at a bar. You both have a sense of interest in one another, there’s a somewhat solid attraction growing, and you exchange numbers, word of advice, be content with that for that night or at least until she’s gone. It’s unappealing to a female (me at least ) to give my attention to a guy and strike up my interest in him, for me to turn around and see him 10 minutes later talking to another girl and getting her number. It gives off bad vibes, and not really leaving any steady ground for me to want to give you a chance if you call. Just keep in mind, you can’t have your cake and eat it too in life.

 Q4: How can a guy win you over?

A4: After the heartbreak I’ve gone through, makes it a bit more difficult for the next guy that comes around to win me over. But the biggest two things to win me over though, would definitely be time and patience. Being yourself, and comfortable with who you are when you’re with me. Personality is also key to winning me over as well. I have a very outgoing, innocent, and goofy personality once you knock down my wall. Some of the best things come in due time. So if you find yourself at all interested in me, don’t expect everything laid out for you all at once. Patience and time are virtues.

Q5: What do you think the biggest misconceptions guys have about you as a girl?

A: The biggest misconception guys have about me, honestly it’s either one of two things. One being they assume I’m easy. That they can and will get me in bed. I am the complete opposite. That may be some female’s cup of tea, but I value my worth as a female and respect myself. I don’t judge other females if that’s the lifestyle they choose to live, but guys don’t assume that just because I might be attractive, that I am just a piece of “ass”. It not only makes you look rude, but it lowers my self-esteem and makes me feel like that’s the only thing a guy wants me around for. Fighting the battle of “worth” for a female isn’t an easy one to win. The other misconception guys have on me is that I’m stuck up. On the contrary boys, I am the complete and utter opposite. Probably one of the nicest, good girls, with a heart of gold you could ever meet. Even if I wasn’t interested in you on a more “dating” level, I quite possibly would be interested in being a friend. Sometimes the best friend relationships can turn into the best legit relationships.

Q6: What do girls really look for?

A6: I can’t answer for other girls, but for me personally; a great personality and (not to sound shallow) some sort of physical attractiveness. Love a guy who is outgoing, adventurous/spontaneous, and down to earth. I have no one specific type of guy I am attracted too, so anyone could have a chance in striking my interest. Just be real and honest. If I’m risking stepping out of my element in order to give a guy a chance, he better be willing to bring the few things I expect from him to the table.


Q1: What biggest mistakes do guys make in winning your affection?

A1:  Too much too soon! That always kills it for me... you have to play a little hard to get at the beginning...not too much but just enough to keep a girl interested.

Q2: What do you hate most about guys?

A2: Laziness. Its not all about going to the gym 24-7 but if you sleep all day and wake up 15 min before you have to work that's a total turnoff for me. I like a guy that takes care of himself, but not like the Jersey Shore!  Insecurities. I hate an insecure man, it will end up rubbing off on you....An attention whore. Don't get me wrong if there's a hot girl in the room I'll check her out too but when your up the girls ass and forgetting who you came with there's a problem. I'll pass on the liars. Once a liar always a liar. CHEAP. I can't do cheap....If you don't have the money don't take me to a nice restaurant and then tip 10% to the waiter!

Q3: What is the best way for a guy to randomly approach you?

A3: Make me laugh and have a personality!

Q4: How can a guy win you over?

 A4: Treat me like a lady..Have some class. Its slim pickings these days. 

Q5: What do you think the biggest misconceptions guys have about you as a girl?

A5: Just because a female is really attractive doesn't mean she is a bitch. Women are not dumb, we know...we just choose what to do with the information. Women are very sexual, we just have to be really attracted to that person to want to have sex all day everyday. When a guy compliments too much it seems fake. Women will appreciate more when its at the most random time, like out of the shower or before bed. Don't over qualify yourself. If you’re not who you really are don't pretend. I would prefer a man for who he is. Just because we can get all dressed up and pretty doesn't mean we're not into sports. Some of us women have common sense, and yes we can drive a stick in heels. 

Q6: What do girls really look for?

A6:  I can only speak for myself, every girl is different. Intelligence is a must. A guy that can show a girl a great time. A guy that has some class, and knows how to treat a lady. Open the door for her, carry her bags (if there are too many) when she is walking in heels, slow down and be by her side. Don't run up to be with your friends. Introduce her and include her. Be sweet, and romantic. Let he know how you feel, we love to know. Don't waste her time. Speak up for yourself, don't let her walk all over you. Sometimes we need to be put in our place. When she is sick, take care of her. When she really needs your help and she says "no it's ok" help her anyway. Show her you care and be her best friend. I like a guy I can do everything with and say anything to. There's nothing sexier than a man with drive, and knows what he wants and doesn't play games.

Alright kiddies, that's enough for now.  Hope you learned something.  We'll check out what goes on in some more girls heads in the next few days.  Stay tuned!


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